By Emete Smart - 11:15

My friend took me on a stroll outside. He had a lot of things on his mind and he needed to let them out. So, I spoke less and listened more. After discussing his aspirations and dreams, he told me his pushing factor - that thing that motivates him to want to be more.

'I was abused at a very tender age', he told me.

That was the last thing I expected to hear from him. Tall, huge, fair and handsome. One would think he has always had everything going well for him. Even if he would talk about his struggles, being abused is the last thing I expected him to mention - or should I say, experience.


He told me it took him years and years to defeat his alter ego. To defeat the pain and to defeat the setbacks. It took him many years of hurt to finally stand on his feet and want to make good use of his life. If he can achieve his dreams, he would use the money and fame to start something around raising awareness against abuse of the boychild. People always assume, most people actually, always assume the boychild has it easy for him. He has it all figured out. Infact, he is the beast and the one who wants to hurt the girlchild. They are therefore neglected and worst still, made to hide their pain and their feelings. The result today, is the millions of men all over the world who see women as nothing but objects to be trampled upon. Since they weren't given a chance, women shouldn't be given a chance too.

Aside from this my friend, most of the guys I have met and discussed with informed me that they were introduced to the act of sex at a very tender age. One of my friends, at the age of 5 - two of my male friends actually. Another at less than 10 years. And they were all abused by older women. The one that was abused at 5 described his experience

'She lived in our area. She would tell me to come meet her. Then, she would make take off my shorts so she could see my dick. I don't know if she was horny or something. But she would fondle it and play with it.'

And when I asked how he felt about it?

'I kind of liked the feeling. It was weird at the same time. I still saw her quite a while ago'

That was his first introduction to the sexual world by someone who should have been taking care of him. He wasn't given sexual education and therefore decided to explore it himself by having sex with numerous women since that's what they all wanted. Now we have an idea of how many 'demons' were birthed. And the other one was dis-flowered by a 13 years old senior girl. But parents do not pay attention to these things. Its always the female child.

'Don't let any man touch you o if not you would get pregnant and I would kill you'

What of the potential man in the house? By the corner? Who might have been molested by his teacher in school? And is confused, broken and feels weird. He wants to talk to mommy and daddy about it but he can't because they do not think he can go through such. Its not something they are informed of. And he is not programmed to speak. It is his sister who is more important because they think and assume she is the most vulnerable.


These men grow up to be sexual predators, rapists and all sorts. They grow up to be abusive and violent. They grow up with no regard whatsoever for women in their lives. They grow up in hatred and hypocrisy with a dark part of them forever locked and shut. If we take Kunle Afolayan's October 1 as a case study, we would see that the prince decided to revenge on the whole village by raping 10 virgins whilst leaving a mark on them. Why was that? He was abused by the catholic father that was put in place to guide and guard him. Unfortunately, the reverse was the case and he couldn't speak out.

He was sad, bitter and angry. This is the state of so many men. What of his friend who ran away, pretended not to understand English and instead focused on farm work, swearing that his children would never know education in order to prevent them from passing through the same experience? Many men have lost vision of their lives due to the kind of abusive experiences they were made to pass through and worst still, with no one to tell it to.

So many men are angry and struggling. My friend was angry and struggling too. He couldn't tell anyone. But he told me and is determined to make best use of his life by garnering enough wealth and fame to create awareness for the protection of the boychild.

It is very important that every child is equal. The female child is not more vulnerable than the male child. Every gender is vulnerable. Every child should therefore get 100% attention, love and care. The boychild should be taught to speak up and made to understand that being expressive and vocal is never a sign of weakness. Then, we can build a world of possibilities where no one is hurt or angry or struggling. Where everyone can speak up and find solace.

Boys Get Abused Too! Let the revolution begin!

It begins with me and you paying attention to every boychild around us.

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