SETTING EXPECTATIONS AND LIMITATIONS

By Emete Smart - 08:58

Image result for black relationship

One reason why relationships and marriages do not last is because people fail to set expectations and limitations before even venturing into the very risky business called relationship. Risky because it is a 50:50 thing. You either come out successful which means it leads to marriage or it crashes. Now, the major reason why all these things crash is due to the reason stated above.

When it crashes, one tend to hear things like it ended due to 'irreconcilable differences' and waterview. What can lead to this? Aside from other factors, failure to set expectations and limitations can be a breaking point. It is not enough to simply fall in love and want a person. As we all know, love is usually never enough. You need to let the person you feel you love and want to be in a relationship with know what you want and expect from them. In return, they should also tell you what they want and expect from you in order to avoid unnecessary fights and quarrels that could have been very well avoided from the beginning.

This is very important because you might be coming from a relationship where things were all hype and cool and you want the same trend to follow or something similar. And you might be coming from a very bad relationship and you do not want your new partner repeating the negatives that occurred in your last relationship. If you do not tell them what you want and do not want, they are not magicians. They would only work as their intuition leads.

The only time this is an exception is if from discussions and hearing their point of view, you both are in sync. You both have the same likes and dislikes and the same mindset. Then it might not be too important stating but if you are not sure or just to be on a safe side, you should let the other person know.

Are you a traditional man? Do you feel your girlfriend should be cleaning and washing whenever they come visiting? Or are you more liberal and do not mind? Infact seeing a girl do those things when they are not married to you irks you? You should let her know. Are you bent on having sex in your relationship or you believe strongly in celibacy? You should let your partner know. As a lady, do you feel your man should be responsible for as little as your hairdo, makeup, clothes and waterview or you prefer to be independent and he can do that at will? You should let him know.

If all these are set in place in a relationship, it would be easier to flow. Your social expectation of them should be set in place as well. Are you a jealous man or lady? And you really can't stand your partner with the opposite sex? Or you're more free minded and believe in trust, you should let them know. By letting them know, they should be able to think upon it and draw a conclusion if they can cope with such expectations and limitations or not before venturing into a relationship with you.

P.S - It is important to know that setting expectations and limitations is very different from setting standards you want a person to attain.

(Image SourceHuffington Post)

  • Share:

You Might Also Like

0 comments