By Emete Smart - 13:50

'Ota' is a yoruba word that means 'enemy'. 'Ore' is also a yoruba word that means 'friend'. Two totally oposite words standing in the same sentence. 'Ota bi ore' simply means 'an enemy that disguises as a friend' and you know what that means. You think you have a friend and in a friend, you can share everything that has to do with you. You love that person and wish them well and you think they feel the same about you without knowing that the reverse is the case.

It is very possible that you are already seeing signs of a frenemy but because of what you both have shared over time, you find it odd to let go of that supposed 'friendship'. I want to tell you and encourage you to please cut short such kind of people and friendship. Not everyone has to be your friend or even be in your life in the first place.

It could happen that they were actually true friends in the first place but as time went, they started developing strings of jealousy, hatred, envy and started gossiping and backbiting about you. It's fine not to notice at first but once you notice, don't bother giving them the benefit of the doubt. Cut them off immediately no matter the position they held in your life...either as a 'bestie', 'twinnie' or whatever name you tag them.

Frenemies do no good in one's life. They only pretend to walk the journey of life with you but all they really want to do is to draw you back and eventually cut the journey short and you really don't want that. Sometimes, it could be hard to let go but in the end, you'll realize that it actually pays. This is not the conventional inspiration post but the most important thing I want to share is that learn to identify a frenemy and when you do, cut them off ASAP just as they wish to cut your dreams and aspirations off.

Funny enough, it could be that you personally are an enemy to someone else and the other person needs to cut you off. It's important to be sure that you're not tagging yourself as a frenemy. What are the signs a frenemy?

  • They are not excited at other people's success. Does this sound familiar?
  • They are quick to tell you not to be innovative or creative because they don't think you are indeed good in whatever you are trying to venture in or try out.
  • They praise you for your wrongdoings even when deep inside you, you know its not a cool move.
  • Sometimes, you catch them giving you a very suspicious look. Don't overlook this.
  • They sometimes gossip and backbite about you.
The list is endless. If you do this, you're yourself a frenemy and if your friend does this, don't overlook it. Cut them off. Healthy relationships only. What other signs do you think a frenemy displays? Let's talk!

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